Sharing our First World Problems with Others

In order to allay my sarcastic, cynical, and hopefully humorous nature, I am going to start another "blog."  Okay, so it's really going to be a newspaper/magazine kind of thing.

Now, why in the world would I want to do something like starting another blog, let alone a newspaper/magazine?  Simple: I think it will be fun.

As a little background, I listen to the radio.  Often.  Like all the time, often.  Anyway, there is a program here in Utah called The Nightside Project, which is pretty funny.  They poke fun at a lot of different things, and they have a segment called "First-World Problems."


When I first heard this segment, I was laughing so hard that I almost had to pull over onto the side of the road and park.  They would have people call in and express their first-world problems.  The callers were saying things like, "My phone doesn't have a data plan, so all I can do on it is text and call people" and "I had to turn on the subtitles for my favorite cable show because the furnace vent was too loud."

I just thought it was hilarious, and so I got thinking a few days back about making a newspaper focused solely on first-world problems.  It would be similar to The Onion, but instead of satire, it would focus on stories about the kinds of "problems" people in first-world countries experience.  They would be ironic in nature, and they would definitely poke fun at us (those who live in first-world countries and experience these problems).

In creating this newspaper/magazine, I would like to invite any of you who would like to write for this.  The only things that I would require are that you:

1. Be a citizen of a first-world country (sorry, Uganda, North Korea, and Kenya)
2. Know how to write coherently (spelling and grammar are important as well)
3. Be able to see first-world problems around them and write articles about them (I would like 250 word articles minimum, but we'll have to see how that works)
4. Seek world domination

Okay, so the last one isn't really a requirement, and I don't know if I'd want someone who seeks world domination under me, because at some point, they'll probably try to kill me and take over my operations.  Not fun.

If you are interested in doing this, please either comment on this post, Facebook message me (this applies mainly to those who are finding this out from my link on Facebook), or email me (theelounge@gmail.com).  I'll definitely get in contact with you, so we can allow people to see just what kind of problems we in the first-world really have to deal with!